How do you view “confidence”? That is, how do you define it?
Most people erroneously conclude that confidence is a feeling. It is not.
Grasping this realization can change your life if you’re not moving forward, progressing, growing, taking chances, or developing because you don’t “feel” confident or you’re waiting to “feel” confident before taking action.
Way too many people spend their lives not doing what they want to do because they are expecting (or demanding) that a feeling of “confidence” precede their actions. This isn’t their fault, it’s what they’ve been taught since childhood. They’ve been told as children, “Be strong! Believe in yourself! You can do it!” and other such positive affirmations. Such encouragement can be helpful; however, when feelings are seen as paramount to action, then problems can arise (problems such as avoidance, procrastination, depression, indefinite postponement, and anxiety).
Confidence has nothing to do with feelings, and everything to do with action despite feelings.
Imagine all the times throughout history in which warriors ran into battle. Do you think all of those warriors were confident that they would survive the battle? Do you think those fighters fought with feelings of great confidence? No way! Most of them ran at the enemy with a lot of fear, anxiety, confusion, and stress. But…they still acted.
And you act with confidence every day, yet you may not realize it.
There are many things you do confidently throughout the day, and you don’t wait for a “feeling” of confidence to guide your action in doing those things. Taking a shower, making breakfast, running, writing, reading a book, making a phone call, looking someone in the eye, working a job, landscaping your backyard, painting a wall, organizing your room, taking care of a pet, making love, and simply waking up and stepping out of bed…there are thousands of things a person does throughout the day with confidence, without waiting on a “feeling.”
In essence, you overcome “lack of confidence” in something by acting, not feeling or waiting for a feeling. Acting regardless of your feelings. That is much easier said than done, but only because of the way we’ve been conditioned to perceive “confidence.”
Confidence is practicing a skill, behavior, or action over and over until it becomes fairly natural. It’s not mastering something, it’s simply getting good enough at something, through persistent action. It doesn’t matter if you’re an ancient warrior riding into battle, a professional basketball player expected to take the game-winning shot, a singer on stage in front of thousands of people, or a person wanting to embark on an exciting career…the “feeling” of confidence isn’t important. What is important is the efforts and actions you’ve committed to practice towards those goals.
